Superhero Saturday: Tannis

My story begins in Beautiful British Columbia. My biological father wanted me aborted, and as far as I know, he doesn’t know I am alive. My mother had thought about adopting me out, with my grandparents approval. When I was born, and they saw me, well, they fell in love and chose to give me life with them… Boy do I thank God for THAT! My “Real Father” is in the Navy. (That saying “Any man can be a dad, it takes a REAL man to be a father”… I believe that’s true. My father is the most amazing, loving, hilarious, honest, God fearing man I know. And I wouldn’t ever trade that for a million years!) We moved around throughout my childhood... ALOT. We moved from British Columbia all the way to Nova Scotia when I was 5yrs old. I spent my childhood moving every 2-4yrs, adjusting to new surroundings, making new friends, only to pack up and leave them. Once I hit middle school I struggled with leaving my friends behind. I was a typical girl, full of dramatic tizzy's.

My family loved to eat. My dad is an incredible cook. However, when he would be away with work, the most convenient thing for my mom was "fast food". My little sister and I used to LOVE when my dad went away, because we knew we'd get McDonalds, or Burger King, or something of the sort. I went to high school in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. When I turned 16, I started working at McDonalds. I wore a size 29 inch waist pant when I started there, only 6 months later I had to get a new pair of pants, a size 34. By the time I was done working there (when I was 18), I was wearing a size 36waist. (Please note these pants are MEGA unflattering and built bigger). I ate at McD's EVERY day. We kept track of all food that went in the garbage. However, if food made it into my mouth, I pretended it went in the garbage, and just wrote it on the sheet!! I ate McDonalds thru my shift, on my breaks, and then whenever I got the chance when I was not working. I was very unhappy in high school. I felt like my parents didn’t trust me and they didn’t like my friends.  I felt fat, and frumpy. I only wore jeans; baggy, unflattering jeans. I never dressed up. When I graduated, my mom took me out to buy my “grad dress” (Most places have “proms” we had a “grad” – lame excuse of a prom). I found a pink dress that was cheap enough that I felt like I wouldn’t break my parents bank. It was long, and puffy on bottom, so my legs wouldn’t be seen at all.

After I graduated, I moved out on my own. My main source of food was Kraft Dinner, Hot Dogs, and of course Fast food. I started to drink casually when I was 18. By the time I was 19, I was probably borderline alcoholic. I was drinking daily, and barely making it into work on time on a regular basis. I was tired, and unhealthy. I was unhappy. In 2001, my parents were posted back to Nova Scotia. They asked me if I wanted to go with them, I said no. I felt like I was where I wanted to be, with my friends, able to party as hard as I wanted, whenever I chose. In September, when 9/11 hit, I realized that life was just too short, and you never knew when would be your last chance to tell your loved ones that you love them. When my parents offered me the chance in November, to move to NS to be with them, they’d look after my plane ticket, and shipping my stuff, I jumped at it. I decided it would not only be better for me to be close to them for the comfort of having them there, but also for my health. I knew that my drinking had gotten out of hand. My parents flew me home just a couple days before Christmas 2001. We surprised some of our family over the Christmas season with my home coming. It was a very happy time, even though the fact that I didn’t have any gifts for my family made me feel bad. The fact that I was there with them made that ok. I found a job at a local pet store chain. And, much to my surprise, touched base with a childhood friend of mine (friends since we were just 7yrs old, kept in touch early in our friendship, but had lost ties over the last years). We made plans to meet, and hit it off like there was no time in between us seeing each other last, to this day, she is still one of my best friends, forever!! Thru her, I made some other friends, and began going out partying in NS. It was definitely less than my party days in SK, but it was still a little out of hand. One night, I met a guy at the bar. We had a great time dancing and chatting, I drove him (drink free night that time) back to where he needed to go… The military base. This was NOT in my cards. Being born and raised military, I vowed to myself I’d NEVER put my children thru that. I gave him my phone number and went on my way. A week passed, he never called. So my girlfriend and I ventured out again to our usual hang out, and sure enough, he was there again. He approached and I gave him the cold shoulder for not calling me. He gave me his excuse, and we danced away. After that night he DID call me. And we started hanging out regularly. We hung out a lot for about a month, then he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. That guy I speak of has been my husband for almost 9years now!! Yes, I married military. You can not argue love!! We loved to party, and we loved to eat. In the early years of our relationship, it was normal to eat out 5-7times a week, and to drink every weekend. We had a great time together, we were young and in love, and that’s all that mattered. My weight was up to 180lbs. I was self conscious, and still felt ugly and fat. When we’d go to a pool or beach, my wardrobe consisted of shorts and a tank, on top of my bathing suit. I wore the ugliest tank and shorts to bed, every single night (just ask him how ugly this attire was!!). We got married in 2004. Preparing for the wedding we both regularly attended a gym, he did his weight stuff and I did cardio. I managed to lose a few pounds, but we still ate horribly, so we were completely voiding out any workout activity we included.

We welcomed our first pregnancy that December. I lost about 10lbs in the first few months with being sick,  but then gained 20lbs. When I had my 9lb1oz son, I was 194lbs. When we got home 2 days later I had gotten down to 175 (water weight and a 9lb baby). I breastfed my son for 1full year, and I managed to lose a decent amount of weight. I went down to 150lb, which I was so excited about. I was still tired and unhealthy, and was definitely what you would call “skinny fat”. In 2008 we welcomed our 2^nd bundle of joy. My weight jumped to 200lbs! I am not going to lie, thru my 2^nd pregnancy, I ONLY craved fast food. I was working retail in a big mall, in a location right beside the food court!! I ate fast food at every shift! It was all I wanted, morning noon and night! When I delivered my little 7lb4oz baby I went back to 180lb. In August of 2008, I started having severe stomach pain. I went to the ER where they did testing, and performed an ultrasound. They found that I had gall stones. I saw a specialist within the next few weeks, and was on the operating table in October. They removed my gall bladder and the stones.

In 2010 my husband was tasked to Haiti to help with the earthquake aftershock. When he was gone I decided that I had to do something to my body. I wanted to have a great body when he came home. So my friend offered me a copy of her Jillian Micheals 30 day shred. I loved this workout!! I did it religiously 5 days per week for 2months. I started “counting points” with weight watchers. I managed to lose 20lbs and got myself down to 150lbs. I was happy with my body, and I was getting lots of compliments. For the first time, I felt comfortable wearing skirts and shorts! Thing is, I got stuck at 150 because I wasn’t eating healthy. I was counting points, but I was not getting the correct nutrients. I still ate far too many sweets, I still ate fast food, I still ate things I knew weren’t healthy. I yo-yo’d up and down. I was skinny fat, but thought I was healthy. I made “healthy” changes in my diet, like eating a salad from McDonalds, instead of burgers, eating frozen yogurt instead of ice cream, eating low fat, or fat free items, eating “smart choice” pre packaged items. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why my running for 30mins 5times a week, and my so called healthier eating wasn’t changing my body. I went to the gym and would pound out an hour on the treadmill. Or I’d go for a late night run for 30-45mins. If I “over-ate” I would make it up by doing extra cardio. This is what I now consider a “cardio queen”.

In 2011, we moved to Moncton, New Brunswick. In November of that year my husband was looking into Bodybuilding.com and looking at some supplements and such. I was curled up in bed one night, and caught a glimpse of a Jamie Eason 12week Live Fit Trainer ad. I asked him to click on it, and it immediately sucked me in. The next day I looked into the trainer, and read up about her weight training program and nutritional information. I joined a 12week Live Fit Facebook group, and creeped the wall for as much information as I could get, to educate and prepare myself for my January 1, 2012 start date. I had hyped myself up and was determined to finish that program. I took those 12 weeks seriously. I trained hard. The first 5-7weeks were good for food, the last 7-12weeks were iffy, but still decent. Once those 12 weeks were over, I was estatic with my results. I had lost weight, and inches, all over my body! I was lean, I was healthy, and I was strong. I felt good, and full of energy. Over the remaining months of the year, I gained a few pounds, and definitely grew a few inches, but I still felt great and thought I looked pretty good (coming from all the compliments I was getting). I had no fear in wearing a bikini at the beach, or pool. I loved wearing summer dresses and skirts. I loved wearing tank tops that showed off my new muscular arms.

In November I had arranged to have a photoshoot done, one that I had won. I was so excited for it, and kept my body tight and toned for it. I went to the town the shoot was at, and stayed with friends. The morning of the shoot I received a message from the photographer saying she couldn’t do it, as she had some family health issues. I was devastated. Then some personal stuff happened and I went from devastated to angry. I started a sugary downward spiral binge. One day of binging turned into 2 days, which lead to a week. Then, it was Christmas. Christmas brings potlucks, and chocolate, and sugary deserts, and friends, and family. I decided that I would enjoy Christmas, and every single yummy treat. I decided that I’d clean myself back up in January.

 

Bodybuilding.com announced that they were doing another 100k Challenge for January 2013, and that it would be open to Canadians! I thought this was a great opportunity for myself to whip myself into tip top shape. Also, the trainer I’ve been following for the past several months, James Wilson, was offering a challenge of his own.

January 1, 2013 rolls around. Here I was, coming clean off a year of an awesome body, damaged again by my terrible binging habits. When I took those first measurements and pictures, I had no idea I had done so much damage in such a small amount of time. My body was “fluffy”, the muffin top was pouring out over my pants. I was not happy with that image. I spent the next 12 weeks working hard in the gym(I workout 100% at home, we have a little set up in the basement that allows me to get my full workout in). The thing is, the first 5weeks, again, were great. I allowed myself a “treat” and it never went back to that perfect first 5weeks. My results were decent, I’m proud of where I got. But I know, KNOW, that it could have been much, much better with more control over my nutrition.

 

I describe myself as living in the Garden of Eden. Sugar is the serpent. A lot of people tell me to “Allow yourself to have one bite, and then you won’t crave it”, “Allow yourself to have it once in a while, and then you won’t start binging”. I have come to the conclusion, after attempting those suggestions, that I simply can not have just one bite. Once I have that first bite of a treat, be it chocolate, cake, cupcakes, muffins, cookies or anything like that, there is no stopping me. I have actually talked out loud to myself as I reach for another cookie, “Tannis, you don’t need that, they are for the kids snacks, you have your own”, and I’ll pop it in my mouth. Let me tell you that it is not as simple as “eating more healthy foods”, or “make sure you have the right complex carbs in your diet”. I make sure my macronutrients are where they should be, and I am in no way hungry when I go for those treats! I compare my sugar addiction with that of a crack addict. It has an insane hold on me. I know that it does terrible things to my brain, and even worse things to my body. My sugar addiction has really held me back in all that I want to accomplish with my body.  I have a lot of work to do on this brain of mine, to master this addiction, and get rid of it once and for all. I know I can do it, and I will do it.

For anyone who is looking for change, remember- lifestyle change. There is no quick fix. Be ready for people to talk negatively about any changes you may make, but don’t let it get you down. Remember that you are changing yourself for good, for better. Remind yourself daily what you are trying to achieve. Surround yourself with positive support. I have an amazing group on Facebook that I’ve been a part of since my original run thru Jamie Eason’s program. We’ve developed an incredible friendship, in fact, one of those members is sharing my story right now. Make sure you have someone you can call or text in a time of need, when you feel as tho you are about to fall off a cliff into a big chocolatey binge; I found this in my best friend who finally decided to listen to me and join in on a lifestyle change. We all have our struggles, no one is perfect. Educate yourself, you will find yourself thinking “If I knew then, what I know now”; I would not have been in this predicament. I plan on raising my children, as best I can, to know that hard work, exercise and eating good, whole foods, is what will make them grow big, strong and healthy. Also, women!! Don’t be afraid to lift weights!! You will not turn into Hulk or Arnold. Share your knowledge with those around you, a lot of people do not know healthy/unhealthy. Over the next few weeks I’ll be concentrating on detoxing my life from sugary treats. Out of sight out of mind, if they are not in my home I cannot eat them. I plan on praying for support and guidance from God, I can do all things thru him. I pray that my challenges will influence others, who maybe have the same challenges I face, to make those changes necessary. I got this, do you??
 

Superhero Saturday: Wendy

This is long, but worth reading. We all have challenges that we face, some more than others. I am in a fitness group here on Facebook that has women who deal with bigger obstacles than I can imagine. I will be asking them to share their stories on my page periodically to help the rest of us motivated. These gals really have to work hard for every positive change in their bodies. If you have a... big obstacle you're working to overcome, please let me know so I can share it on my page!

First up is my friend Wendy at www.facebook.com/tweakmyphysique. She is 35, in surgical menopause, and fighting an uphill battle to improve her physique AND overall health. Here is her story--just read the first three lines--you will want to read the rest.

It all began on November 19th, 2010. On that day, my life forever changed when I found out my mom had stage IV ovarian cancer. She died 19 short days later. Three days before her passing, we found out that she carried the BRCA 1 mutation. It turns out that her testing two weeks prior would be the biggest gift of life she has given my sister and I, aside from giving us life of course. BRCA 1 is a genetic mutation that gives you an 87% chance of breast cancer and 50% chance of ovarian cancer. But she passed away from ovarian cancer you ask? Yes, and her mother died at the young age of 38 from breast cancer. My precious mom was only 8 years old when her mommy died.

So back to the BRCA 1 test. As soon as my sister and I could pick up the pieces of losing our mother suddenly, we tested for the mutation. In January of 2011, I found out that I also carried this mutation and my sister does as well. This is when you hear about women making drastic measures to removed their breasts and ovaries before they get cancer. At first, I chose the path of surveillance. I felt like I lived my life in 6 months increments. After a scare on my ovaries, I decided to take the plunge and remove them. On July 8th, 2011, I had surgery that removed my tubes and ovaries thrusting me right into menopause. No if's, no and's, no but's! Full fledged menopause with hot flashes and everything that can accompany menopause like insomnia. If you know me, you know I'm a researcher! I researched how to combat the risks I now face. See, I reduced ovarian cancer from 50% down to a small chance of peritoneal cancer. However, I gained the risks of cardiovascular disease, osteoporosis, weight gain and much more. My mom had osteoporosis with her ovaries so I knew the chances were even greater for me. My solution: LIFTING HEAVY WEIGHTS and CHANGING MY DIET! Health and nutrition was already important to me but I still had a lot of work to do!

In the process and journey of lifting heavy and eating clean, I fell in love with weight lifting and the fitness industry! Everything is much more challenging for me than the average 35 year old female who has her ovaries. But I'm up for the challenge. I would be remiss if I didn't mention another life altering surgery I endured. On November 16th, 2012, I underwent a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. Once again, I threw myself into the researching process and ended up traveling to a renowned surgeon in San Antonio, TX who did an amazing job! Any bit of estrogen that I had residing in my breast tissue was suddenly gone. I wasn't prepared for a further emotional roller coaster but I got it. I'm still working through it all! If I can inspire one woman to get fit and healthy then it's all worth it! If I can help one woman find out she too has the same genetic disposition I face, then I have done my job!

In April 2013, I had a couple of set backs. I found out that I have osteoporosis. What?!? At 35?!? Needless to say, that was a tough week for me but once again, I am pulling up my boot straps and getting mad. Mad enough to fight even harder. The following week, I went to a naturopath doctor. I knew with hashimoto's, mast cell syndrome and now osteoporosis, all had to be related somehow. I was right. I'm not really absorbing nutrients that I put into my body and have many food allergies. This could be it! The reason I have been so frustrated in the gym! It is very common with people who have auto-immune diseases (hashimoto's). Yet again, my mountain just got bigger. But also the way I look at it, I'm that much closer to figuring it all out! In fact, I think I am getting the pieces to the puzzle put together and it's going to show me an amazing picture of success! I will be working closely with my doctor to treat all of this over the next 6-12 months and I actually couldn't be more excited. It's all coming together now! Hashimoto's coupled with mast cell syndrome and osteoporosis. I have full blown celiacs disease! It just took me 35 years to figure it out! The strict gluten free diet is going to be hard but I can do it. With the help and support of you! It's often that I will get a message from a follower telling me how inspiring my story is and how it's helped them personally and touched them in some way. WOW, now that inspires me!